Quotes From Ireland- or really Quotes from Pa (x-rated)

         April  21-25, 2011

           *When is a leprechaun not a leprechaun? When he is up a fairies skirt and he’s a goblin!

<!*I have a money back guarantee, if you don’t like the show I have a money back guarantee.

<!*Our good friend Jack went to the distillery in the sky where whisky was on tap all night long.

*   *Beggars can’t be boozers

     *There were two men on opposite sides of the world. One walking on a tightrope and the other getting a blow job from an 80 year old woman. Yet they had the exact same thought at the exact same time- For God’s Sake DON’T LOOK DOWN!!!

     *It’s Good Friday, we call it bad Friday (because they can’t drink)

<!*  (A girl on our tour)Wait we can’t have sex on Good Friday?

    *  My father is a matchmaker, I don’t have any match making abilities, but I do have sexual tension abilities and there is sexual tension in this room.

    *  A girl got up to go to the bathroom after her husband had gone a few minutes before) Are you going to the bathroom to have sex? If I were married to her I would. It’s not illegal, it’s pleasurable

   *   Sex by yourself is fine, sex with another is better.

   *   It’s hard to be good and it’s good to be hard.

      * We’re only young once, go have sex tonight.

     *  Snakes are extinct in Ireland but tipping is not, if you want to tip me I love tits.

      *  Stay together, stay in a group. You don’t have to have group sex…unless you want to.

    * Let me first reference this joke as the worst joke you will ever here and end the blog with this: Tom and Mary were drinking in the bar from 9am to 9pm. Mary said, ‘Tom I want kinky sex’ Tom said, ‘Wait a minute Mary I still have my whole beer to finish’ He finished it in one gulp and they went straight home. Mary said, ‘Okay Tom what do you want to do. I mean we’ve done pretty much everything already. What is something different you want to do?’ Tom said, ‘Can I come in your ear?’ Mary said, ‘No Tom.’ Tom said, ‘Why not Mary?’ Mary said, ‘I might go deaf!’ Tom said, ‘Mary, for god’s sake woman, I’ve been coming in your mouth for years and you’ve never shut up!’

Until next time,

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